Log in

No account? Create an account
08 January 2009 @ 05:01 pm
You know how you keep telling yourself you're going to make a change, every New Year? You're going to live healthy, handle yourself and your life better. And somehow it never quite happens, or at least not so much as you'd hope?

I can't stop smiling today, in a small and sweet way. I may not get everywhere I want to go, but I'm certainly enjoying the journey.

Right Outta Nowhere Read more...Collapse )
Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: Christine Kane - Right Outta Nowhere
29 November 2008 @ 07:03 am
1. My stomach is at times much bigger than I think it is, and other times I don't mind it at all.
2. Tiny apple tarts is what I ate the most of on Thursday.
3. The yard had a flock of wild turkeys in it on Wednesday, bold buggers!
4. Home with Steve, crafting, (or at a yarn shop)is where I'd rather be at any given time.
5. The smell of sofrito reminds me of home.
6. The ability to sleep past 7, or not wake up from a sad or scary dream, is what I need right now!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to spending the evening alone, tomorrow my plans include seeing Grandma Pat and then Twilight, and Sunday, I want to relax, but that's not going to happen!
Current Mood: tiredtired
23 November 2008 @ 10:24 pm
  1. What made you happy this week? Finishing my first lace shawl/stole and visiting our friends Tamara and John in MA for the first time.
  2. What made you sad? I had a (non-office) coworker tell me I was a traitor to my country for voting for Obama. When asked how I could do such a thing I had to explain what civil liberties were. She honestly didn't know.
  3. What made you angry? Feeling used by people I care about. I'm not looking for drama, so I won't go into it.
  4. What are you looking forward to in the next week? Going to see Twilight with mom tomorrow, Thanksgiving with my family, Commando Christmas shopping on Friday.
  5. What are you not looking forward to? Getting up in the morning. 
I'm very much looking forward to a short week and some good time with family this week. We've been seeing a lot more of my parents in the last year than in the past but it never gets old. I'm blessed to have people who care, because (warts and all) they are there for me. How many people do you know who actually enjoy vacationing with their parents? :P
Tags: ,
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: Morning Song - Jewel
17 November 2008 @ 05:38 pm
Do you believe people are basically good?
I believe that people are basically decent , with a significant qualifier of self-centric, and that we can be easily corrupted by fear, need or abuse. To explain, I think that most people don't wake up wanting to hurt someone, they'll go about their days being basically decent to each other. However, I think that when our own needs conflict with the needs of someone else that is not part of the familial/inclusion equation then humans tend to land on the sides of their own needs. And that definitely - when faced with hardship, fear or abuse - humans often revert quite quickly to fight or flight, us or them. There's a reason why compassion and self sacrifice are held to be ideals, if they were easy then everyone would do them, all the time.
If you could change the custom of shaking hands, what would you replace it with?
I like the idea of a slight bow while meeting someone's eyes.
What is something that you enjoy that is a chore for most other people?
I love to kitchener stitch, aka grafting, as in grafting the toe closed on a sock. I know that's only a chore to most other knitters, and not most people. But I also love public speaking, and most people would rather gnaw their own arms off than speak in front of strangers. I especially enjoy reading my own essays or engaging in debate. 
Current Location: Home
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
Current Music: "Crucify" - Tori Amos
10 November 2008 @ 05:50 pm
I have a secret… I’m afraid of the dentist. Seriously, truly – afraid. I’ve not taken the best care of my teeth in the past, and couple that with a resistance to pain medication I’ve avoided the dentist for more years (keep going, and going) than I care to recount in public. A raging toothache landed me in my husband’s dentist’s office on Friday. When I was greeted by the receptionist I promptly burst into a 2-second bout of tears, I was so scared. The receptionist was very nice, reminding me that paperwork doesn’t bite and it would all be ok. When the tech came to get me and introduced herself, I stared at her and her outstretched hand like she was an alien, blinking in slow motion. Finally I slowly reached out to shake her hand. The receptionist whispered "she's REALLY scared" and the tech said "don't worry, we'll take good care of you". I unfroze from there and followed. 

Long story short, I have quite a few small cavities to deal with, but the big issue is that I need a root canal. I’ve never been scared so bad in my life, and I have a feeling when I finally go in for the procedure that I’ll be more scared than when I went in for surgery to have my gallbladder removed. At least then I knew I wouldn’t feel anything, I was just embarrassed that strangers - including a mom of someone I went to school with who was rather nasty to me at times (not that that matters now) - were going to see me naked like a beached whale. Ugh. I’m going to stop now and just ask that you wish me luck when I go in.  
Current Music: "Something I Can Never Have" - Nine Inch Nails
06 November 2008 @ 05:13 pm
 I am once again popping my head up above the water, and I find that now that I have LJ added back into my tabs that I missed it more than I thought I did! I'm trying to go back and read my Friends page posts for at least the last couple of weeks, but no way will I be have the stamina to read back over the last few months. I hope that anyone who's still reading will know that I've thought of them too, even if I was "away". 

Things have been well, aside from a few bouts of sickness. Thank the heavens and all the gods that the pain management has been going well. I'm off my medication and things seem quiet. I still have the screaming tender spots that my husband can barely touch when he massages, but I'm not in full body or whole limb pain any more. I'm crossing fingers that this will last a good long time. 

Work has been good, no problems there and I'm in full swing for the holiday party which is two months of GO GO GO! I had a huge retirement party to plan too, along with my regular clerical and graphic design duties. The party went very, very well and I'm really pleased as the retiree was a wonderful coworker whom I'll miss terribly. 

Steve and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary, sort of. I was at a convention, once in a lifetime kinda thing, but we talked every day that I was away and had a dinner out when I got back. By the way, you can totally skip the Texas Roadhouse. Worst steak I ever had and the whole "Yeehaw" shouting at the top of our lungs for the multiple birthdays? And the throwing peanut shells on the floor? Not our thing. Our Indiana site employees love theirs, but it's not our bag. 

I'm knitting and spinning like a fiend, working on my first lace weight - lace project, a stole. It's a little interminable right now, a long rectange of the same simple pattern over and over, but it's handdyed yarn and it needs simple. It's going to be gorgeous when it's done. I have a few other projects I'd like to finish before the holidays, but I'm not too worried about that. 

All in all, aside from a really super busy autumn, I'm feeling good and I can't complain. How are you? I really have missed you, it'd be nice if I could get back into the habit of blogging about my life again, and not just my yarn. 
Current Mood: contentcontent
Current Music: Niyaz- "Minara"
04 September 2008 @ 05:07 pm
I do try to keep my personal politics off the blog these days, as really, I'm not going to change your mind and you're not going to change mine. Hell, I didn't even have a "politics" tag until just now! But sometimes I just have to share. 

I wonder if people really listen to themselves sometimes. You can be damned sure if I was in the public eye, ON RECORD, I'd double check it from time to time. I will go back to my sultry NY Indian Summer knitting now. 

Current Music: "Quixote" - Bond
25 July 2008 @ 03:51 pm

I’m not dead, just floating… Points to whomever can tell me who sings that. So yes, I am still alive, and I’ve made a point to myself that I will log into Live Journal more and I will indeed post. Once a week at least. I don’t journal for the comments, or the people, I journal to keep track of my life, the things that I thought good enough to record, or the moments worthy of remembering. Journaling is a way for me to evaluate myself, my moods, my life and my dreams. It had become a chore for a while, but I think I’m ready to come back to the fold (as it were).

My week has been good, though I've experienced a return of the rock hard neck and shoulder muscles. Lyrica worked very well for me and my Fibromyalgia, so well that I was able to go off for almost two whole months! What a relief it was to feel human again, and without pills that make me dizzy. I’m not doing so hot again though so… I picked up my prescription last night and I took my second dose today. Yesterday I took my last "old" dose and was completely bombed with dizziness, like you'd think I was drunk when I was trying to talk. Way to go! I explained it to AMO (my boss, Ann Marie) but dude, I was weird. Guess I'm back on the bus for a while.

I haven’t spoken about this before because in some ways I’m afraid of saying something and then failing, but I’m going to learn the harp. There is a teacher down the street from me, and I’ve tried his. Celtic, or Folk harps, are very ergonomic for me and it doesn’t appear that it will stress my body. I placed my order for the Flatsicle (has levers and plays in 8 keys because of it without retuning strings), with gig bag, and I'm very excited about it. Blue was great about giving me some feedback about her Harpsicle, thanks Blue! I’ve always dreamed of learning one of three instruments, since I was a child. I wanted to play either the harp, the guitar, or the piano. A piano isn’t going to happen, the guitar leaves me in pain… but the harp? I think we can do this.

I do insane amounts of research when I'm interested in something, be it a camera or a car, and I've found some good resources that review and recommend books etc. for beginners. Turns out the books I'd picked out on Amazon were highly recommended on this one website too. I still wish I had a good dvd to follow along with, but they are really expensive so I'll start with the book. One is a learn to book, the other is 'easy Celtic songs'. What's really cool is that because of Youtube, I can look up any song I'm learning and hear what it's supposed to sound like, especially the more popular standards. I’m torn between the Celtic and the Renaissance one, ah!

Sunday is the spin-in at Great Barrington, wherein I will spend the day with my friend Jess, and spin away the hours at "Old Egremont Day". Hey, free food from the Fire Dept. (her honey’s a member) and I get to spin? I’m down with that. I have to be at Jess's house by 9:30, the event starts at 10:30. It'll be a great opportunity to finish off the fiber I’m spinning for Mom’s "Wedding Vow Renewal Shawl" (WVRS) and start on a colored roving, or maybe I'll navajo ply the bastard. We'll see. I’m very glad that mom realizes how much work spinning this yarn is, and we haven’t even gotten to knitting the enormous shawl yet. Gadzooks, this is love!

Saturday Steve and I are cleaning the bedroom, yay. I look forward to seeing many bags of excess clothing and shoes leaving my domicile. I'm planning big things in the getting rid of crap arena. That spare room will be *mine*. That's right, I'll keep telling myself that. I have already figured out where the crafting table will go, as well as the sewing machine station. Imagine, not mucking up the dining room table because I have my own space? Yes, as soon as I get rid of years of rat-packed items in boxes and piles. I shall dream of a craft room that allows me the freedom and space to create, with music and a closed door if need be.

Current Location: Work
Current Mood: creativecreative
Current Music: Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd
25 April 2008 @ 10:32 pm
I took my time, I did it in small batches and planned it all out meticulously. I am as ready as I'm going to get. Tomorrow I vend for the second time ever, at the Chancellor's Sheep & Wool Showcase. I had so much fun last year that I couldn't wait to do it again, so here I am. I am more excited than I can properly express. :)

I have a new product, along with lots of great sock and lace weight yarn. No hand dyed roving this year, I'll wait till next year and do it right after I've had a little learnin' on the matter.

I thank my husband who tirelessly supported me while I got ready for the show. He skeined yarn, he helped me remember things, and he took care of me when I wasn't feeling well. I could have done more, but I would have paid for it with my health and that's just not worth it. The money I raise will go towards the SOAR fund, just in case I don't get the scholarship I applied for. All the lead up to this is on my shop blog, along with pictures, but I wanted to mention it here too.

Wish me luck. :)
Current Mood: hopefulhopeful
Current Music: Not Coming Home - Maroon 5
23 April 2008 @ 07:11 pm

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are powerful, passionate, and dominant.

You have a vision of how things should be, and you do your best to make things happen.

People rely on you for your strength. You are a rock to many.

Underneath it all, you aren't so sure about your passions.

So many ideas spark your interest, it is hard for you to get behind a select few.

However, you see indecision as a sign of weakness. So you pursue your goals full force - no matter how foolish they turn out to be.

Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: Steve's cat screaming for milk.